I didn’t snap. I didn’t roll my eyes. I didn’t even raise my voice. But inside? I was tight.
The coach had just told me we were “using too much topdressing” on the soccer field and it felt “spongy.” His tone said it like it was a fact. But I knew he couldn’t tell me what product we had used, calling it compost when it was only sand. He didn’t know the material, the application rate, or the purpose. And that hit a nerve. Imagine that — a coach telling me how to do my job! Because this wasn’t just any coach. We had history together.
This was someone I’d worked with for a few years — someone who, until now, had raved about the field and how much better it had played since we began managing it. His team had found success on this field. The players would arrive early for matches to take photos of the field. The coach even used it as a backdrop to player recruiting, bringing recruits out to show off the quality of the surface. But this season, things were different.
The team wasn’t doing well. The buzz about the team had gone silent. I had even heard whispers that his coaching tenure was in question. So, when he criticized the field, it didn’t feel like a question. It felt like a redirect. Speaking honestly, I took it personally.
That moment didn’t make me question my abilities nor the process I had followed. I knew the program, the products and the process. What it made me question was my response. Because even though I didn’t show it on the outside, I felt it on the inside. And that’s where emotional intelligence starts to matter. Not in how loud we react — but in how well we understand the feelings we carry, and what we do with them.
In sports field management, we often talk about irrigation schedules, height of cut, soil compaction and herbicides. But rare is the real conversation about stress, miscommunication, unspoken disrespect, frustration or burnout — the emotional realities that come with doing professional work in a public, scrutinized and high-pressure environment.
Sports field managers work in a space where people see your work but don’t understand your process; you’re held accountable for the impact of the weather, even when you’ve done everything right; coaches, players and administrators bring stress into your space; and you can feel unseen, underappreciated or disrespected.
In moments like these, how you respond becomes the defining marker of your reputation — professionalism matters. The version of you who goes home and replays conversations, second-guesses decisions, and absorbs pressure without having anyone to hand it off to needs to practice emotional intelligence. At its core, emotional intelligence is the ability to recognize what you’re feeling, understand where it is coming from, and respond in a way that aligns with your values and goals. That’s it — noticing, naming and navigating your emotions with intention.
NOTICE. Don’t ignore the frustration, the defensiveness or the embarrassment. That moment with the coach? My frustration was real. But when I took a step back, I realized it wasn’t about the topdressing. It was about feeling betrayed, disrespected and disappointed.
NAME. Ask yourself: What am I really feeling Not just “mad.” Maybe it’s “I feel overlooked,” or “I feel like my hard work was dismissed.” Accurately naming it takes the sting out of it.
NAVIGATE. Now, decide what to do with it. You might choose to have a conversation later, or you might choose to let it go entirely. Either way, you’re not driven by the emotion — you’re directing it.
How you model emotional maturity impacts your entire environment. The person who can stay calm under fire, lead with clarity, and know when to listen instead of lash out is the person who earns trust. Emotional intelligence doesn’t make you soft. It makes you stronger than your feelings; not immune to them, but not controlled by them either.
The next time something ticks you off, catches you off guard or makes you feel small — stop. Ask yourself: What am I feeling? What’s underneath that feeling? How can I respond in a way that shows leadership, not just emotion? That’s what draws the line between talented SFMs and leaders in the profession.
Alpha Jones, CSFM, is an athletic field specialist at Duke University. He also serves on the SFMA Board of Directors as President-Elect. He can be reached at morthangrass@gmail.com